Christianity – Page 4 – Embracing His Presence

May 15, 2014May 15, 2014

Surrender

You stand there, feet firmly planted and you lift your feeble hands up. When you choose to lay it all on the line, exposing every single part of who you are – you find yourself risking to lose – well, everything!

You remember every broken promise, every shattered dream and you find yourself so worn out that you can’t even cry out for help anymore. When you can’t find the words to name the pain that casts shadows over the depths of your heart.

That’s when you know – it’s time – well it’s probably way past time.

To surrender.

Surrender, it sounds so defeating doesn’t it? We want to raise a white flag and make it all stop, just stop. Maybe throw in the towel and give up. Perhaps we just choose to wallow in the doubts of who we are and beat ourselves up for failure once again. Know this, that’s not surrender, that’s shame.

Let’s call how we see it.

Shame grips our hearts in fear and tries to get us to believe lies about ourselves. Shame does not free us, – oh no – it shackles us! Binding us with insecurities we don’t need nor even think upon. Shame sucks the joy out of our lives and it’s time to put an end to it.

Surrender, true surrender, frees us. It doesn’t come easy and there is definitely a price to be paid. We often want to skip that part, miss that payment due and just gain our reward – rest. R.E.S.T. Moving on so quickly in our search for peace, we often aren’t willing to take that long hard look in the mirror – and reflect, remember and release it and place it at God’s feet, in full surrender.

Somehow we wear the self condemnation like a warm blanket and think this will bring comfort to us. There are words etched upon our hearts and minds we’ve repeated over and over to ourselves in the past. “I am not worth it. I don’t deserve to be loved.” Whatever your doubt, whatever your fear – it’s time to call it like you see it.

Lies.

You don’t believe me, fine. Don’t listen to me, listen to Jesus.

“Jesus went across to Mount Olives, but he was soon back in the Temple again. Swarms of people came to him. He sat down and taught them.

The religion scholars and Pharisees led in a woman who had been caught in an act of adultery. They stood her in plain sight of everyone and said, “Teacher, this woman was caught red-handed in the act of adultery. Moses, in the Law, gives orders to stone such persons. What do you say?” They were trying to trap him into saying something incriminating so they could bring charges against him.

Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger in the dirt. They kept at him, badgering him. He straightened up and said, “The sinless one among you, go first: Throw the stone.” Bending down again, he wrote some more in the dirt.

Hearing that, they walked away, one after another, beginning with the oldest. The woman was left alone. Jesus stood up and spoke to her. “Woman, where are they? Does no one condemn you?”

“No one, Master.”

“Neither do I,” said Jesus. “Go on your way. From now on, don’t sin.” John 8:1-11

Oh there is so much in this story Jesus told – for now, let’s just focus on this – surrender.

This woman was caught in the act of adultery. Here she is dragged into the temple and is placed before Jesus. How do you think she might have been feeling? Shameful. The Law said to stone her for her sin. This woman was an adulteress and rather than shove her deeper into her own shame about her choices – Jesus encourages her give it all up. Not just the sex my friends, or the sin, but the shame too.

He lovingly looks at her and poses this simple question. “Does no one condemn you?” Jesus gets right to the heart of the matter. He looks around as the dust has settled from the stones gathered at His feet and clearly sees no one. Jesus looked into her heart in this very hard place and proclaimed, “Neither do I.”

Wait. What?

Neither do you condemn me? I am ….. free? This question whispered from her battered past and her life of shame. “Teacher, you don’t condemn me?” I wonder what was going through her mind and heart as she was prepared for the stoning – the shame and self condemnation must have been overwhelming. She had prepared for the worst and now she is free. Free. FREE.

Jesus says “Go on your way. From now on, don’t sin.” It’s not a get out of jail free card, He did tell her to sin no more. But that wasn’t His point. It wasn’t to tell her to stop having sex, he could have just stoned her if that was his concern. No. The concern was her heart and her mind – her self imposed prison of shame. He wanted her to see it, experience it, feel it and embrace this fact.

Freedom comes in letting go.

He asks her to surrender and let go of the shame that binds her in continual bondage. Today, I encourage you with His words, with His truths and with His love.

Open the doorway to your heart and the riches of your mind. Drink of the cup of mercy and grace. Pour it down straight and hard. Let this truth settle within you. Look into your own mirror, stare long at your own reflection and let the Spirit speak. Listen.

Unclench your fists, open your heart and let the love of Christ dwell deeply inside you. Find the shame that binds you. Jesus has the key to those shackles, let Him use it. Unlock His love and rest in Him. Entrust yourself to the One who can heal you. Release your shame, reclaim your true sense of self and worth – in Him.

Don’t let those doubts rise up, nor fears can grab ahold. Oh no. Not today. For today we trust His words and His example. Today we believe – for it’s in believing we can offer our hearts back to him in full surrender. Let go. Be.

Leave your life of sin and surrender yourself to Jesus.

Today.

Peterson, Eugene H. The Message. Bible Gateway. Web

May 5, 2014

Holy Mess

I confess – I am a mess.

This unbridled, totally chaotic – mess. If you walked into my home right now, you’d see it. If you sat down and talked with me, you’d hear it. If you heard the constant stories of my life, you’d know it. Just a total mess. Often I think about Jesus and the words He would say to me as I strive to find balance in my life. When the storms rise up and I can’t see clearly, I wonder – what would my Lord say?

Consider this story:

^“The boat was in the water, some distance from land, buffeted and pushed around by waves and wind.Deep in the night, when He had concluded His prayers, Jesus walked out on the water to His disciples in their boat. The disciples saw a figure moving toward them and were terrified.

Disciple: It’s a ghost!

Another Disciple: A ghost? What will we do?

Jesus: Be still. It is I. You have nothing to fear.

Peter: Lord, if it is really You, then command me to meet You on the water.

Jesus: Indeed, come.

Peter stepped out of the boat onto the water and began walking toward Jesus. But when he remembered how strong the wind was, his courage caught in his throat and he began to sink.

Peter: Master, save me!

Immediately Jesus reached for Peter and caught him.

Jesus: O you of little faith. Why did you doubt and dance back and forth between following Me and heeding fear?

Then Jesus and Peter climbed in the boat together, and the wind became still.” Matthew 14:24-32

Sometimes in my mess, the clutter and chaos call to me. They become my own storm in life. The waves crash, the wind whips in my face and the sights and sounds overwhelm me. I hear Jesus’s voice calling me to come out to Him as He stands smack in the middle of my own storm. Often I cry out loudly to Him, “Is that you Lord Jesus?” My vision gets clouded as I ask and question in this mess of mine. Perhaps it’s not really to understand if it’s Jesus out there, but if it’s me still safely in the boat.

Hear him?

“Jesus: Be still. It is I. You have nothing to fear.”

Nothing. To. Fear. Ha! If I believed that, would my life be such a mess? He’s calling me to come out to Him in the middle of all the storms in my life and I balk at Him. I don’t jump out of the boat. At first I don’t even say, “Is it you Lord?” I just stay focused on the mess. Maybe if I straighten this here, or fix this over here and perhaps change right here. Oh. All these ways I try to manipulate my circumstances to bring me peace. That’s what I tell myself.

I find sometimes my mess is so familiar, so comfortable and personal that it’s easier and less challenging to be different. To chart a new course. To expect a different response. To challenge a long held belief. Henry David Thoreau wrote, “The path of least resistance leads to crooked rivers and crooked men.” We can live our lives passively and just go with the flow. Whatever thoughts or feelings come our way, let them overtake us. The storms that surge upon the shores in our hearts, just let them wash over us. My friends, that leads to crooked rivers and crooked men.

I think I am misshapen and twisted enough.

Which road would Jesus choose? The one of least resistance? Just look out from that boat you are in, past the swells of water and the battering rain and see Him walking on that water. O what little faith I have. He beckons me, He beckons you. Come! Can you hear the voice of Jesus calling you? It might be a loud voice piercing your ears or a quiet whisper that won’t let you go.

Do you listen? Do you heed His call? Will you obey Him? Even if it’s water you are called to walk upon, will you trust Him? When it makes no sense that you will stay upright. When your logic tells you it won’t turn out well. Will you walk out to Him anyway?

It’s not my own will, or anything I will ever do that would allow me to walk upon water, or rise above the mess of my life. Oh no. It is the power of God, and only the power of the Almighty God which allows such a miracle to happen.

Our God loves us so much that He emptied Himself into His Son Jesus Christ and we partake in this wonderful, bountiful mystery of grace and love – when we take the first step. It’s a daily moment by moment transformation and participation in the divine nature of our Holy God.

“Now all of us, with our faces unveiled, reflect the glory of the Lord as if we are mirrors; and so we are being transformed, metamophosed, into His same image from one radiance of glory to another, just as the Spirit of the Lord accomplishes it.” 2Cor 3:18

So go ahead.

Move. Walk. Run. Crawl – do whatever you have to. Just go. Don’t look back at the boat. Don’t look at those waves. Ignore the rain that blinds your vision. Focus on Jesus and take a step – just one.

These holy messes that are our lives. They are the very places that the Creator of the Universe and the lover of our souls can inhabit, renew, rebuild, recreate and resurrect life. We must let Him. Our lives are about transformation, going from the mess and muck of sin and strife to the ever increasing glory of being His child and finding hope that resides in Jesus the Christ.

That is why my life is a HOLY mess.

For it is set apart by the One who walks on water and calms the storm. As soon as I call to Him, He is immediately there. As soon as He steps into my boat, into my life, the storms raging quiets. It’s not that the messiness is over. No. He often beckons me to come to Him in the darkest part of the storm. It’s the truth we are no longer alone in it.

It is Him and I have nothing to fear.

April 30, 2014April 30, 2014

Do you thirst?

Being alone.

That’s where she flees to. Where it’s quiet and all the noise in her head is drowned out by the stillness of space. She has to get outside from the everyday moments where people talk and cast glances her way. Remove herself and run.

Some might call it discipline, others self preservation – yet maybe it’s just plain fear. A feeling of no longer being able to control the expectations and thoughts of what others think – and just trust who she is – and be. This is a daily ritual that she’s come to embrace in her routine. She runs, or rather, walks….

“In a small Samaritan town known as Sychar, Jesus and His entourage stopped to rest at the historic well that Jacob gave his son Joseph. It was about noon when Jesus found a spot to sit close to the well while the disciples ventured off to find provisions. From His vantage, He watched as a Samaritan woman approached to draw some water. Unexpectedly He spoke to her.

Jesus: Would you draw water, and give Me a drink?

Woman: I cannot believe that You, a Jew, would associate with me, a Samaritan woman; much less ask me to give You a drink.” John 4:5-9

Just like that – He spoke to her.

She escaped to the well in the middle in the day. The hottest and most difficult time to attend to this chore was the time she chose to go. Why not go earlier in the cool of the morning? Why not find comfort in community as she tends to the daily task of drawing water? Perhaps there was no community and no comfort for her? There was no place for her to find rest.

In a culture when women had no voice, no place to call there own, no value – the first thing Jesus did with her was invite her into community with Him. He didn’t just ask her for water. No.

Jesus had a conversation with her.

“Jesus: You don’t know the gift of God or who is asking you for a drink of this water from Jacob’s well. Because if you did, you would have asked Him for something greater; and He would have given you the living water.

Woman: Sir, You sit by this deep well a thirsty man without a bucket in sight. Where does this living water come from? Are You claiming superiority to our father Jacob who labored long and hard to dig and maintain this well so that he could share clean water with his sons, grandchildren, and cattle?

Jesus: Drink this water, and your thirst is quenched only for a moment. You must return to this well again and again. I offer water that will become a wellspring within you that gives life throughout eternity. You will never be thirsty again.

Woman: Please, Sir, give me some of this water, so I’ll never be thirsty and never again have to make the trip to this well.

Jesus: Then bring your husband to Me.

Woman: I do not have a husband.

Jesus: Technically you are telling the truth. But you have had five husbands and are currently living with a man you are not married to. ” John 4: 10 – 18

Just like that. Jesus looked her straight in the eye and spoke honest words, hard words but transparent ones. He saw the woman for who she was, all her imperfections all her sins, all her scars. He reveals this to her in the most gracious way by asking her to bring her husband to Him. Of all the things the Messiah could have said to her in those moments about Living Water, all the lessons about its life giving flow. Rather than teach, he reached. Reached into the depths of that Samaritan woman’s heart and uncovered her greatest shame, her darkest place and invited her to step out and speak. Use her voice

Jesus didn’t reject her or neglect her. He loved her. Her. Not the woman she could be, or would become or could have been, but who she was now. Now, in that moment, He loved her so much that he chose to commune with her in the very depths of who she was, and hold her close. He loved her by the choices he made.

He did have a choice.

He could have adhered to the culture of the day. He could have remained at the well and let her go about her business. Ignored speaking to her or seeing her for who she was, just plain ignoring her as a person. Yet Jesus was counter culture, rebellious and willing to go against the social and cultural norms of the day to welcome this women into His heart. He went straight to the heart of the matter in their conversation – her heart. By exposing the ugliness that’s inside, it made room for the Living Water to well up her soul. But here’s the thing, He didn’t leave her there to remain in the ugliness, He invited her to drink. Drink long and deep of Living Water that comes from Jesus Christ

How often have our lives been this way? We get busy with our days and our circumstances that we just choose to go about them like any other routine and miss the opportunity to drink from the Living Water? This woman at the well, she didn’t recoil from the secrets Jesus exposed, rather, she struggled to understand what He was saying, how He was living, what He was doing in that moment – with her. Any encounter with Jesus can bring us to our knees in wondering who we are and what we are about. The very fact Jesus loved her, talked to her, engaged with her drew her into the Light of His Presence and the joy of knowing the Messiah. It was in her deepest shame and weakness, and looking them straight in the eye that she recognized Jesus Christ as the Messiah who was to come.

Upon meeting Jesus, we see that this encounter changed this woman’s life.

This woman who went to the well mid-day, who had chosen this time of day and hour to remain quiet and alone, keeping herself from community. This women, she returned from the well so full that she faced the thing she feared the most and spoke to those who rejected her, the community. She says in John 4:29, “I met a stranger who knew everything about me. Come and see for yourselves; can He be the Anointed One?” She faced her shame and her fears and spoke right up. She left Jesus questioning – Can this be? Could it be? Is it true?

Don’t ever think your voice doesn’t matter.

With just one question, she engages the whole community to hear about the Messiah. Scripture says, “Meanwhile, because one woman shared with her neighbors how Jesus exposed her past and present, the village of Sychar was transformed—many Samaritans heard and believed.” John 4:39

Because this women, who was often alone and rejected – heard the call of Jesus and responded to His love. She shared this hope with others and an entire village was transformed due to the faith of just one voice questioning His truth. She let Jesus expose her past and her present, she allowed Him in and in doing so He invited her to drink from that Living Water.

Are you thirsty? Bring your questions, saddle on the shame, let’s find the Living Water.

Drink.

April 19, 2014April 20, 2014

Darkness Closes In

“At noon, darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon. And at three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” (which means “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”).” Mark 15:33-34

Forsaken.

The very last words of Jesus Christ as he hung upon the cross were words that cry out with despair and abandonment. God’s only Son calls out to His Father seeking comfort and oneness. In the deepest and darkest place of Jesus’s life, where was God?

Why have you forsaken me?

Jesus had lived his life on this earth in communion with His Father. They shared a close bond and an ongoing growing relationship. With constant sharing in prayer, intimacy was woven between them – deep communion grew. They were intimate. Jesus was so one with the Father, that being about His kingdom was His passion and ministry.

Even as a young boy Jesus was most comfortable in His Father’s House.

“…. the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.”

“Why were you searching for me?” he asked. “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” Luke 2:43b-49

As Jesus began His ministry, He went to the Jordan River to be baptized by John the Baptist. “And a voice from heaven said, “…… This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” Matthew 3:17 God loved His Son, He was pleased with Him. Before even one item on the “to do” list was accomplished in the ministry of Jesus, God proclaims His love for Him.

His love!

Jesus spent time building His relationship with God. He communicated with Him through prayer. Jesus sought out the Father to rely upon, to entrust Himself to and to strengthen his faith. He prayed early in the morning, late at night, alone and for hours on end. Jesus was a man of prayer and this is how their relationship was built – with words.

“Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.” Mark 1:35

“…..Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God.” Luke 6:12

“^….. he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone.” Matthew 14:22-23

Jesus prayed. The man who became our mediator knows what it feels like to need space, to feel desperate and to have to plead our case. For he pled His own.

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” If Jesus Christ can ask this question, surely we can. When we can’t find our footing as we reach out to the Father. When we can’t find the peace which God provides. When we ask, “where are you Father?” When the darkness closes in.

Ask.

Wait for His reply. Yes, just wait. I know it’s hard. It’s brutal even. Yet God’s timing is the most precious and sacred time of all. Our Savior could have called 10,000 angels to relieve His pain. He could have removed Himself from the cross and ended His suffering. But He endured. He remained faithful. He agonized. He hurt. He stayed.

Have you ever wondered what were those early believers were thinking? The Teacher who performed miracles, who talked about a kingdom to come. Now what? Those followers who walked with Jesus, who heard His teaching, who witnessed the miracles. Where are they now?

Darkness has come.

Their Teacher? Dead. Their Kingdom. A dream. Their hopes and their faith rocked to it’s very core – as they scattered – just like Jesus predicted. (Matt 26:31) They denied, betrayed and refused to admit their loyalty to Jesus. They hid in an upper room and mourned the one they loved in private. The communion they shared with Jesus, gone. They mourned Him, oh how they mourned Him!

What happens to you when darkness closes in?

Do you hide in your own upper room? Fill your time with distractions and consider that time sacred? Do you live in denial and refuse to confront the sin in your life? Do you betray your first love Jesus by seeking out other ways to fill yourself? Are we like the early Christians who spend time with the Holy Lord but don’t recognize His signs and wonders? Do we trust Him? Commune with Him? Wait upon Him?

Just wait.

For His perfect, sacred, holy time. All the disciples had believed in, seemed lost. All hope appeared gone. They felt forsaken, abandoned, alone. Like Jesus on the cross asking God why He abandoned Him, so too I suspect, are the disciples wondering why Jesus did the exact same thing. Have you ever asked Him such a question….where are you LORD?

Spend time with Jesus cultivating communion. Learn about Him and know His heart so you can recognize Him when He arises from that tomb in your soul. Do not look with your eyes alone, but with your heart. Have faith. Believe.

For the darkness does not win, it closes in, but never snuffs out the light.

April 9, 2014April 9, 2014

The Veil Is Torn

Sometimes we don’t see clearly. Do we?

We live our lives in an understanding of who we think we are. We tell ourselves we’re products of our environment, dependent upon the circumstances in which we live. Our life as a child growing up created this framework in which we now engage and view the world. We are caught in this reality of a brokeness. No matter what you experienced in your home – neglect, financial instability, additive behavior, abuse – difficult, oh so difficult life situations – whatever life threw our way, we feel like victims. Victims. We all have our own story don’t we? Often there are things we have experienced that we wouldn’t wish on anyone, yet here we are. Hiding behind the curtain that shrouds our vision, our thinking – our very being. We’ve swallowed the lies.

I am not good enough.

I am not worth it. I am not lovable. I got what I deserved. Can you hear it? The doubt, the fear – the desperate need to be loved. It’s cries out from our deepest longings. We see glimmers of light shining as the curtain sways. We grab its edge, gently move it so we can peer out – yet all we see is skewed, distorted – untrue. We have this veil covering our eyes, our minds – our very hearts. We just can’t see ourselves for who we are – or for whom we can become.

We move within our lives in ways which reflects what we believe. I think I am not good enough, so I act like I am not good enough. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy. I won’t eat right or control my tongue and certainly not cut back on my internet use – I can justify these as ways that serve me – however do they not enslave me? I can’t speak for you – you will have to name the ways in which you do this to yourself. I am asking when did taking care of ourselves become a sinful thing to do? Choices I now make reinforce this thought pattern in my mind. I say to myself, “I’m not going to take care of myself, no one cares anyway.” If I think I don’t deserve to be loved I will allow myself to be treated as unlovable. Those in our hearts we long for to treat us differently, will choose to continue to treat us as we believe about ourselves.

It’s time.

It’s time to confront the lies we live in, the thoughts we combat, the ways in which we doubt. Sometimes the doubts keep us in that valley while we are eager for the mountaintop. We yearn for acceptance, we work hard to gain love, we serve in a multitude of ways and we just get busy. These can be dark times and we keep ourselves enslaved by believing the lies. That veil covering keeps us from understanding who we are, and whose we are.

We must take off the veil – and see.

“But Jesus, again crying out loudly, breathed his last.At that moment, the Temple curtain was ripped in two, top to bottom. There was an earthquake, and rocks were split in pieces.” Matthew 27:50-53

The very moment Jesus Christ died upon the cross at Calvary, God moved. Immediately! Scripture says that the Temple curtain was torn in two from top to bottom. There wasn’t one jagged edge left to rip apart, it was completely torn in two – separated and a new way was born. In death life sprang forth. God ushered in a new way for us to be intimate with Him. In former times only the High Priest could enter the Most Holy of Holies but once a year. Now Yaweh has torn away the dividing wall and brought us, you, me – into our true identity. He invites us to be one with Him in the most sacred place. We are His.

His.

Because we are His it’s time to embrace who we really are let Him mold our true identity. To live not as victims but as victorious. Rip away the curtain you are hiding behind, tear off the veil shrouding your sense of vision, let the Light shine deep into your soul. Because of Jesus Christ we can be intimate with the Father, we can have sweet, deep, intimate fellowship with Him. Your vision of the world can change my friend. But first, let Him change you.

It’s long past time.

March 25, 2014March 25, 2014

Out Of The Shadows

I can’t seem to find my way.

I see the light, it’s inviting me to step up, out and go onward. And yet, my feet, they just can’t grab ahold. I take a step, the rocks they shift and scatter as my weight bears down on them. My foot, it slips. Sometimes I fall. I try to move, just move – my feet, yet when my feet fail me, what do I do? I could just sit there, gazing up and thinking how beautiful that light is. But, no! I stretch out my hands to grab ahold and feel for the rock under my grip. Maybe between my arms and legs I pull myself up and can climb out – and be free.

So why am I still here?

Sitting in my cavern of doubt, this place I know so well – questions rise to the surface faster than any sense of peace. I look up and see the light shining and I want to go to it, climb out and sit it’s in warmth. I want – the light. The warmth it brings, the comfort I find, the hope of being able to see in the darkness. That’s the thing about light, it shines like a beacon. Calling us to it’s presence.

Jesus said, “I am the light of the world.” It is just that simple. Jesus is the light. He is the source of warmth, of comfort and of the hope that I seek. He is the every glowing, nonstop energy source we can cling to, we can hold onto, yes – we can trust. Trust. As you sit in your own cavern surrounded by doubt and fears, you have a choice. You do! Take one more step- just one. Who cares if you are standing on the rubble of a battered life, of broken promises and shattered dreams?

Jesus does.

Are you grieving? Then grieve my friend. Feel the pressure of the rocks under your feet. Let the wounds they inflict bleed. As you reach for another cleft in the rock looking to climb out – know this. Remaining in that cavern may be the place that you need to be. The step you want to take to climb out, in fact may be the one you need to take to step out of the shadows you are hiding in and place yourself into the beam of His presence.

Step my friend, into the light.

His light. You may be wrestling to climb out when He is inviting you to sit with Him. The light Jesus can shine, it can move into every crevice in that cavern, every place of darkness can be aflame with His truth. But first you must step out of the shadows of the doubt and into it. Let it cast it’s beam right into your personal pit of pain and insecurity. He’s there, with you, now. No matter what you face, no matter how much you feel overcome or are discouraged. His light shines forth.

Its an invitation!

He is the light of the world. That word light in Matthew 5:16 means, “the light by which true life is gained.” Jesus is proclaiming that He is the way in which true life is gained. LIFE. Oh, Jesus is the way. It reminds me of this verse in John 14:6 when Jesus says, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” He is calling out like a lighthouse beam on the oceans shore – shouting out His Majesty that He is the Savior of the world, and through Him you can have eternal life. It’s a ray of hope revealing the goodness and the mercy of God’s favor, His delight. His love can reach us into the darkened places of our hearts, reveal our doubts and is present in moments of weakness.

Can you see Him shining through?

Sometimes you might have to be in the process and grieve. Feel the pain – endure suffering. Your dreams you had, they may not be what has played out before you. You may find the walls of your cavern scribbled with words of despair and loneliness. You might be keeping yourself cloaked in regrets of the past. You may be blinded by fears of the future and of the unknown. Whatever your situation is, regardless of the circumstances – it doesn’t matter – we all have our own caverns and pits -our places where we are more comfortable in the shadows than in the light.

I encourage, my friend, His light can shine through that hole in your heart, my heart, and cast a beam of hope. Don’t get comfortable in the darkness, place yourself in His care. Trust Him. Let Him shine into your heart. Invite hope to rise.

Maybe the way out isn’t up, but through.

Follow the Light.

March 12, 2014March 12, 2014

Alone

Alone.

Sometimes can’t you just feel it? Those moments when you fight off the crushing weight around you. You sit among those you love the most, care about deeply and find yourself – invisible. Lost among your thoughts, your concerns and your worries. There are things you want to do, yearn to break free from and promise to make anew. Yet, here you are, again.

You have a choice, you know.

We sit inside these old worn walls with wounded souls and look out the window and think, today might be the day. We see the crumbling paint, the broken windows and the well worn pews that are our comfort zones. And we sit.

Perhaps the battle scars of life have gotten in the way, you can’t think, you can’t move, you can’t see. You’ve been hurt one too many times, you’ve lost hope – you watch the paint crumble and you feel the pew harden as you sink further into loneliness.

You sit.

Sometimes, being alone is our own doing – we choose to sit. We choose to wait. We choose to see the brokenness that’s inside our hearts. We examine the walls we have crafted to find their foundation. We move in our pew to examine our comfort zones. We choose to be alone, and think, with Him.

You see, being alone does not have to be a fear filled thing. You are not invisible. Being alone with God is a sacred invitation, a place to hear Him speak – to you. He calls your name and invites you closer to Him. He may challenge you to move from that comfort zone in your pew. He may want you to tear out that foundation holding up that wall. He may encourage you to sit with Him, so when the time is ready, you can stand.

In His time.

His time. Yes. His. I’ve been in those moments where I stood up too soon -only to have it come crashing down. For me, it’s beyond time I rested in my Master’s arms and let Him work. He was once a carpenter you know. All He asked of me in this divine conversation, was to wait and trust Him. Trust.

How do I know He’s there?

See the light shining through the window? It’s evidence of His care. Jesus is the Light of the world (John 8:12). Even as we wait, there is hope. The light, His light, permeates the darkness – illuminating places of hope and moments of grace. “It thrives in the depths of darkness, blazes through murky bottoms. It cannot and will not be quenched.” John 1:5 (The Voice) The light of Jesus Christ thrives to dive into the depths of darkness in your heart. He want to chart through those murky waters and fill you with Living Water. He cannot and will not be quenched. Hope is your treasure when Jesus is your King!

Why are you sitting?

March 3, 2014March 3, 2014

My Performance

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Confession time.

I’ve spent most of my life measuring out ways in which I can find my place into God’s graces. I’ve sought Him out for relief, for hope, for answers, for direction – for so many things. But there is nothing, just nothing, I can ever do, to place one more note on the scale in His score. No matter how hard I try, or what I do, my place in the symphony of saints is secure. Because I am His.

His.

Sometimes, if you are like me, you might fall into this trap. We strive to perform. We search to find moments where we will be good “enough”, strong “enough” or faithful “enough”. We search and scour our thinking, contemplating “if we only had ______” that note might finally land on the page of the Great Composer.
Enough.

Until I accept He is enough, I will lie to myself into thinking that God’s majestic symphony will somehow exclude me. God conducts a marvelous tune and I must yield to Him and dance along. Sometimes I shout out in a chorus of praise and song and sometimes I just close my eyes and listen to the music He’s orchestrating.

God’s love is not dependent on my performance.

Or yours.

February 24, 2014February 26, 2014

In the most unlikely place

I was sitting in a courthouse of all places – a courthouse.

The place were laws are made, upheld and enforced. Peering into the reality that what I was about to face -well – it’s wasn’t going to be pretty. I owed a debt. Not a large debt, but one that had gone unpaid. Questions surfaced and attacked my sense of reality – just how had this debt accumulated that I was unaware of? Why hadn’t this been handled earlier? I had always been a responsible person. Exactly how did I get here?

Perhaps that story is for another day, for what came from this experience is so much richer than how I got here. This story needs to be told, why else would I admit such hard things?

My arrival on the courthouse steps wasn’t this scene from Law & Order or anything significant. When I walked in, not one person recognized me or was there to fight on my behalf. I walked in – alone. As I opened the doors to the crowded courtroom I could hear the judge as he read off the names of people waiting in the gallery for their turn to speak and be heard. When my case was called, I somehow needed to find my feet and rise up to stand. All eyes from that sea of faces were upon me, gulp, yes me. I knew in that moment, I was no longer alone. I was a part of this plethora of people who hurt, who are broken and have fallen and just might need a new contract on life.

Make no mistake I was there to take ownership and be responsible for the things that transpired. Yet somehow I realized this debt that accumulated over time, had brought doubt and shame to my own sense of who I am as a person. Who had I become that I let a small amount of money determine my sense of self and purpose? This is what I truly had to face – not the debt.

Myself.

As the judge dismissed us, more waiting began outside in the lobby of the courthouse. The benches filled up with souls awaiting their turn to speak their story, to tell their tale – and to be heard. I sat among them and as I looked out at the morning sun, I smiled at the beauty of another day, even the hard ones. The benches filled and chatter ensued. Yet I stay enclosed in my thoughts, sitting on my bench all alone, just me. Until.

Until she sat down.

We both looked more alike than the rest of the crowd, our clothes were a bit cleaner, our hair a bit neater and our conversation much quieter. I don’t remember how it happened, but somehow we talked, sharing our stories with one another. I found this such a gift to prepare myself to speak to the lawyer when it was my turn. As our stories unfolded I found our lives intersected in so many ways, our dreams similar and our hopes just as dashed. At one point she leans over to me quietly and says, “you know, you should really talk to the free legal team here, they have really helped me.” As I awaited justice, judgement and punishment, I heard the first whisper of mercy.

Mercy.

I thought for a moment, could this be? My questions were answered as quickly as I posed them to myself. The free legal team was searching me out, they called my name. We met and discussed my case. In fact, I didn’t have to discuss much at all. I walked in alone to the courtroom but now I had someone to defend me, someone who heard my story. Next thing I know I am filling out paperwork and they meet with the judge.

Case dismissed.

Just like that. The wheels of justice turned and once set in motion, they blew right past me. Not only was my case dismissed, it will now be expunged from my record. My name, my good name, is back intact. My years of hard work and reliability, of consistent payment of debts, restored. Erased. Redeemed. Forgiven. Like it never even happened.

Mercy.

Mercy is defined as compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone when it is within one’s power to punish. This is what I experienced today, awe inspiring mercy. It was within the courts rights to hold me to this debt, yet I was freed. I can’t ever express what this has done for me. Not for my bottom line financially, but for my spirit. I tasted mercy and forgiveness and now I am called to offer the same. Freely I have received and freely I must give.

Parable of unmerciful servant.

“At that point Peter got up the nerve to ask, “Master, how many times do I forgive a brother or sister who hurts me? Seven?”

Jesus replied, “Seven! Hardly. Try seventy times seven.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

“At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

“But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.³¹When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Mercy.

I was now walking within this very parable, in God’s story for my own life. Like the man forgiven of his debts, I too had been forgiven. Okay, so I didn’t owe 10,000 bags of gold, but I had a debt, one I couldn’t pay. What would I do? Would I return home from the courthouse, renewed with hope, and show mercy? Or would I be like the unmerciful servant who demands from others more then he himself could give? Could I truly grasp the gift of mercy God had bestowed upon me? I. Couldn’t. Breathe. I needed to stop and take it all in – and weep.

This wasn’t about money, oh no. It was about me.

About me loving, trusting and believing in God – and receiving mercy. The most precious gift of all, compassion touching my heart in places that laid bare before Him. Places I didn’t even know existed, but He did. Remember, I had let money define and determine my value. Money is a currency – but not one of the heart. There is no price tag on our value, no balance sheet that can hold all our debts. No. We are valuable because of His love. We are valuable because of His mercy. We are valuable because we are His.

His.

I don’t know what debts you owe. . What situation you have in your life that might throw you into your debtors court. This I do know, it’s humiliating. But if I had never walked up those courthouse steps, I wouldn’t have been able to experience the incredible mercy of the Living God. YWHW. Perhaps your debt isn’t financial – but you feel it. There is forgiveness that needs to be offered, hope that needs to be restored and hearts to love and encourage to turn to Him.

Just take one step. Let mercy win.

New International Version. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1986

February 16, 2014

God is… love

God is love.

It’s just that simple – and that complicated.

Love. It is this deep need we have within ourselves. We desire to be loved. We yearn for it. We seek it out and perhaps get a bit desperate sometimes. We search for it, looking all over, as it we lost it somehow. Love – we fall into it, out of it, we give it, receive it, refuse to offer it sometimes and can even give way too much of it.

Love. God is love.

When I think of God, I don’t think of an emotional being, not at all. I think of a spiritual, transformational, powerful, all knowing and ever present being. I rarely think or contemplate this nature of God, yet the Bible tells us that God is love. One of the shortest verses in Scripture is packed with such profound truth.

He is love and because He is love, we too, can love. God is the author of love Himself. The provider of strength to those seeking it. The giver of hope when you can’t seem to find the way to express it. God is love and it’s His love that can mold us into being love to others. His love works in us and through us.

The greatest story ever told, is the story of love itself.

God loves you, yes YOU – so very much that He choose to send His very own son, Jesus, to bring us back into relationship with Him. God chose to love us, even when we did nothing to receive that love. God chose to love us even when we didn’t deserve it. It’s this amazing picture of selfless, sacrificial and devotional love.

God chose to send His son. God chose to sacrifice Him. God chose for Him to be resurrected. God chose to send His Spirit. God chose this plan for your salvation. God chose. God chose. God chose.

Love my friends, it’s not just a emotional feeling or response – it’s a choice. Sometimes we just don’t feel loved. When we don’t feel it, it’s so much harder to choose love, isn’t it?

^“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (Eph 3:16-19)

God not only loves us, but wants us to grasp how wide, how long, how high and how deep is the love of Christ! This love is so huge! It’s so hard for our finite minds to grasp and yet He calls us to it, Paul said it’s his prayer. The Spirit of the Living God can strengthen your inner being. You can be filled to the measure of the fullness of God. How amazing this love is!

God is love.

Why do we complicate something so beautiful?

Chose Him.

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